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wazzzup asked:


I just found out I am about 4-5 weeks pregnant. I have been with my fiance for over 5 years and we have a very loving great relationship. We’re high school sweethearts have lived on our own since we were 17 (we’re both now 22).

Background: We both come from poor/unsupportive households. I was sexually physically abused when I was younger, and his father up and left one day leaving him and his mom to live out of a hotel, barely making ends meet. We swore we would give everything to give our kids everything we never had.

So, I went to college.. I graduate in 10 days with my Bachelors! He DIDNT go to college so I could. He has his CDL, and makes average income, and recently got a second job since I cant work much because of my school schedule. We recently moved into a 3br townhome, and are looking to save to purchase our first home in the next year or two.

The Problem: School loans, personal loans, bank loans and credit cards have left us with about $50k in debt total (Mind you, this is NEED, not frivolous spending, food-gas-books-etc… its not easy making your own way through college on one income).

I would have to go on Medical Assistance, because it would be $150/week if we got married to add me to his insurance. After all our bills, it would mean he would be bringing home less than $100/week. There is no way right now, financially we could afford to have a baby.

My question is: Did you have an aboriton because you could not financially support a baby? We don’t want to be selfish and say Oh its ok, we’ll go on welfare and never see each other because we both have to work 2 jobs. Whats the point of having a baby if we’ll never see them? Due to our background, we (happily) live 2 hours from family, and wouldnt trust any family to babysit anyway.

We want a family so bad, we’re great people, and it ***** that the ONLY thing holding us back is MONEY. We’re having such a hard time making a decision to have an abortion or not, because we WANT this, but we SHOULDNT do this, financially it would tear us apart.

Has anyone else been through this?

P.S We know its selfish, but adoption is out of the question. there’s no way we could live with going through 9 months of a pregnancy knowing how great of parents we would be and giving our baby away..sorry.
Alma- you think 50k (30k is SCHOOL LOANS) in debt is a ‘ton’ for a 4 year degree + the fact (and maybe you missed this) I HAVE LIVED ON MY OWN SINCE 17. **** happens, having debt is not irresponsible if you accumulated it SURVIVING. whos the idiot?
Where we live apartments($1200/mo)are actually more expensive than townhomes($900/mo). we moved to save money

sayuri_k asked:


I am 16 weeks pregnant and just found out that my employer offers no pay during maternity leave, and that I’m not eligible for Short Term Disability, I believe because this is a pre-existing condition, and also it takes a while to kick in.

Does anyone have advice on what can be done so my partner (soon to be husband) and I can pay bills, and still allow for my maternity leave? It’s really important to me to be able to breastfeed my baby, at least for a while, before I have to start pumping during the day.

We’re in our 30’s, have average incomes - not much left over, but not broke. We’re responsible, but with the cost of living, and things like student loans, medical bills, etc. (we don’t buy anything fun or spend frivolously), we need his income and at least some of mine to make ends meet.

So, I don’t know if getting *nothing* on my end is feasible during the time I take off.

Thanks so much for any advice you can provide.